Thursday, April 23, 2015

My sadness

Tuesday was an interesting yet sad day. A little boy crossed the street in front of my house.  Seemingly alone,  he crossed into daytime rush hour traffic,  and a pair of people stopped to ask if he was okay.  I was walking to my car,  and I stopped to see why the boy was there.  While waiting for the police,  his mother showed up.  I watched as she crossed the street,  and whisked him away.   I was quite angry,  but I know that I don't know the whole story.  I am not sure if I should have thrown more of a fit,  or not.  I was in a state of shock that this little guy had been left to wander alone,  and no one noticed for nearly an hour.

You know how that plays out.  I get angry and frustrated with people.  I convert that anger to sadness,  making it seem like I am sadder than I am.  But that is how it works with me.

Friday, April 17, 2015

The pride conundrum

Why am I stuck in this never ending saga of trying to make people proud of me.  This is a very hard thing to deal with,  because perfection is impossible . I have found happiness in the eyes of someone else,  but without her I feel unhappy.  She truly was a love that I felt was lost,  and low and behold, all I had to do was try again,  and things worked out.  I am not sure where I am supposed to be,  yet here it is.  The crux terminatous if you will.  I truly believe that I am destined for greatness,  but I am just tredding water,  until the next wave to surf.  Ahh,  the calamity, and the chaos.