Another day

Today was another day, not good, nor bad, just a day. I have been feeling quite melancholy as of late, and I just cannot put my finger on the exact cause. I have been attempting to achieve perfection at all things that I do. I just cannot seem to find that niche that will let me achieve that. I have been digging around on the web, finding random utilities here and there. I attempt to share what I find with others. No one finds what I find interesting, well interesting themselves. Perhaps I try too hard. I am not sure. Most people that I speak with only seem to put up with my quirky mentality just to appease me. I just wish someone would tell me otherwise once in a while, perhaps then I could fade into the background, as it seems to be the best place for me. I am a facilitator, and I know that. At times I am an enabler too. I am often times surrounded by people, only to feel completely alienated. This has been a long term issue of mine, and I suppose it is because I am so different. Even in my youth, I never quite fit in anywhere. I was there, and I contributed as best I could, but I just didn’t fit in. While at one of our events, I had an extremely vivid dream. It was about my future. I dreamt I was sitting in a desolate wasteland, surrounded by endless sand dunes, and destroyed buildings. In this dream, I say alone and thought about everything around me but I was sadly unable to move. The wind blew, the rain came, and the desert persisted. I still sat pondering everything around me. Could it have been some sort of premonition? A bit of forethought that my ailing brain either attempted to fool me into believing, or perhaps it was a true premonition of things to come. Wish I knew.

A state of the Union, as an external bystander sees it, And a Reboot of this blog

A state of the union, by an external bystander

                The union, as I see it, is slowly, but surely dwindling. When did the piece of fabric sitting innocently in your wallet become the ruler of the world? Gas prices skyrocketing, corporations crying bankruptcy with billions in trust funds, soldiers sent to their inevitable demise in order to fulfill the misguided pretense of a greater good. Everything I watch silently, and shrug. I speak adamantly to those that listen, yet finding a listener willing to truly listen is undeniably tedious, almost impossible. Delusions of grandeur, I base my lifestyle on them. I have a very strict code of ethics which I follow, if only I could touch 1 person a week to let them see the error of their ways.