Random memories invade my mind

Every day,  something will stir up an unwanted thought.  I don't know what triggers it, nor do I feel that it is somethingthat I want to think about.
I wish I knew what triggered the sadness, or the unfettered anger from the past. I would like to bury the memories of that time. I don't know it is possible

Some days are worse than others

Thoughts about the distant past,  and promises that I would always be there.
Promises and missives,  of me trying to wiggle my way into a life,  that was a fools errand.  I tried and tried to fit into this newfound life,  and for a time I was pleasantly oblivious.  Subconsciously,  I was screaming every second of every day.  And consciously I was smiles and happiness.
This chapter of my life was a story about a country boy who tried his best to make friends and fit in with people who I believed were family,  in a city of sadness.
I focus on the positive,  and the insurmountable amounts of negative,  negate it.