The weight of the world

It truly is on my shoulders. On a whim tonight, I decided to stop at my old turkey hill. Once again, I was in the right place at the right time.when I pulled in, I noticed one of my old regulars, sitting in front of the store sobbing. Apparently, her boyfriend of about a year had been hitting her. She had a small bruise under her right eye. I was livid, but all I could do was walk over to her, give her a big Glen hug, and sit with her. I'm not going to lie, I wanted to find the guy who had done this to her, and smash him. After calming her down, and with the help of one of the night shift workers getting the number for one of the local shelters, she walked back to her home to collect her daughter. It is my hope that by standing up and telling her that she is to damn smart, and too damn pretty to put up with that shit, that I helped in some way. I still feel like I should have done more, and destroyed this guy. But it truly was all I could do. I hope it was enough.

It has been a long road.

I have come to a point in my journey. Acceptance, but not happiness. I continue on the path set before me, dodging pitfalls, and booby traps. I have yet to kick this deeply entrenched sadness, not sure I ever will. But avy loves me, and I hope some day she will realize just what I did for the sake of that love. I was placed under pressure, and again i feel the anger rear its head. Why do I hate myself so much? That, dear readers, is a question I cannot answer. Just like so.many other questions that plague me daily....