I often wonder

Would I truly be missed by anyone else in this world,  even when people say they would. I have been going through a variety of bad times, and here I stand.  Still trying my hardest to be something,  and not sure if I ever will. It is hard being alone,  even when surrounded by rooms full of people.  Hey,  I have to do what I have to do I guess.  Tomorrow morning always comes sooner than I expect,  and I never accomplish half of what I need to .

And in a way,  I guess my hell is internal,  and only I can change it. But here it is , the elephant in the room.

I'm never going to get better,  and dammit,  I'm sad because of it.

Oh so very sad,  and I can't do anything to change it.

Tomorrow wasn't better

Here it is,  I am stuck in a place where I can't be.  A place where everything I do is bad,  and sadness abounds. I am ok,  yes,  but how can I ask for help,  when I cannot find the reason too.  So I question the world and wonder why I can't find the happiness I truly hope to find. Things look ok,  but they rarely are great.  Wish I was getting better,  but I'm not.  Such is life I suppose.  Such is life.

Recent events have been tough on me

And that is sad to me.  It's like I am so close to being better at this world,  and this time I have left.  I sit back and question,where did I go wrong.  Why am I so compelled to do more,  and be better to find my place in this world.  I don't know anymore because I am not getting any better.  Actually I have been getting worse.  And I can't do anything to fix it.  Frustrating to say the least.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.  Maybe.