I have come to a sad realization.

I'm sad. I'm lonely, and downright depressed. I try to look tough, and I often succeed. I've been putting on that show for so long ,l've become a master of disguise. Like it or not, things added up, and I'm nearly at my point of no return. Do I continue down this road, the one that is less traveled? Or do I veer off, change my life for the self fulfillment of my own agenda, and tell everyone to go pound sand. Damn hard decisions, and how I seem to be confronted by them constantly anymore. Perhaps I can sleep on it, and decide. Perhaps I will just wake up with more questions. The latter is what I am used to. But I can't change it, at all.

Yeah

Truth is, I am depressed. I'm technically homeless, living out of my car, under a roof, and with a place to shower only because friends are kind and understanding. I am working a crappy part time job, that isn't so part time, and the shifts are uncaring, unmerciful, and almost killing me. Trying to get myself an apartment, the right way, has lead to more jumping through hoops, and more red tape than a damn congressional meeting. Why do I do this to myself, you ask? For the love of a 6 year old little girl,  who I only hopes understands what her daddy went through for her sake at this time in her life. Only time will tell I guess.