Thoughts

     Have you ever had a nagging feeling that no matter what you do you you're bound to fail. That is the feeling that has been nagging me for a few weeks now. I've felt great for a long time. Months even. Things seemed to be looking up. Life was a little bit brighter. I was doing something, and excelling at it for the first time in years. Then, as if a damn had been broken, a stream of horrible luck swept over me. First my fathers aneurysm, then my brother in law totals my sisters car. Sure none of this directly deals with me, but it is only the tip of the iceberg. My car was trashed again by a local hooligan,breaking of my passenger side mirror. I'm finding it harder and harder to keep up with bills and my gas too and  from School. When asking financial aid about it through email, as my Ovr officer
suggested, I have yet to receive a response.  I am aware that they have other students that need assistance too. I come last, everyone else first. I am used to it. 
     I have also been fighting an internal struggle with my choices.I have an issue with my choices being wrong. I try to follow a strict code of action and ethics. But consistently I find that is the hard way. I am not sure if I should continue on the route I have begun, as I am not sure it is the correct path. I am speaking about becoming a CMA. I originally set on this path with the goal of a Medical Lab Tech in mind, but that changed, and I went with it. I am not sure if it was the  right decision or not to switch majors like I did. I could complain, and this rant may come off as just that. But this is just a way to put my thoughts in a fashion that can be understood.  When speaking I seem scatter brained.