Another day

Today was another day, not good, nor bad, just a day. I have been feeling quite melancholy as of late, and I just cannot put my finger on the exact cause. I have been attempting to achieve perfection at all things that I do. I just cannot seem to find that niche that will let me achieve that. I have been digging around on the web, finding random utilities here and there. I attempt to share what I find with others. No one finds what I find interesting, well interesting themselves. Perhaps I try too hard. I am not sure. Most people that I speak with only seem to put up with my quirky mentality just to appease me. I just wish someone would tell me otherwise once in a while, perhaps then I could fade into the background, as it seems to be the best place for me. I am a facilitator, and I know that. At times I am an enabler too. I am often times surrounded by people, only to feel completely alienated. This has been a long term issue of mine, and I suppose it is because I am so different. Even in my youth, I never quite fit in anywhere. I was there, and I contributed as best I could, but I just didn’t fit in. While at one of our events, I had an extremely vivid dream. It was about my future. I dreamt I was sitting in a desolate wasteland, surrounded by endless sand dunes, and destroyed buildings. In this dream, I say alone and thought about everything around me but I was sadly unable to move. The wind blew, the rain came, and the desert persisted. I still sat pondering everything around me. Could it have been some sort of premonition? A bit of forethought that my ailing brain either attempted to fool me into believing, or perhaps it was a true premonition of things to come. Wish I knew.