The meaning

Not a joke,  not a quip about what good is life,  or the answer too life, the universe,  and everything.
I struggle so much with internalized,  silent and pervading sadness.  So much, that it has affected many people near me. But why? I'm not exactly sure if I am as important as seems, why not simply tell me? I'm not talking about the past, or what has been said before.  I'm talking about showing me right now.