my escape from insanity

The thin line between sanity and insanity has always been a barrier which I have straddled.  One leg in, one leg out.  Sometimes,  both sides equally embraced.  For good or bad. 

This seesaw has often seemed playful.  My feet touching the ground,  and then floating through space.  Both feet dangling in the nether. 

These feelings , enflamed by emotions,  and unfathomable thoughts.  History flooding through my internal mindscape. Affecting my body,  and my mind.  

   The loss of my son, commingled with happy and pleasant memories of places he was able to witness.  His little eyes,  sparkling in wonderment.  Yet the dark,  despondent look the day he left,  his spark forever floating away. 

       The memories of a father whom hugged me,  and then the statuesque figure which was unable to , or just couldn't respond. Comingling with the man, whom taught me how to climb a tree with a climbing tree stand. Melded with carp being pulled from the river in the middle of night. 

     These thoughts , these feelings,  these memories.  Slowly pressing me towards insanity.