Abandoned

For all too long,  I have struggled to be happy.  I pay no attention to my mental lockbox and rarely listen to the screaming it does  .

Yet the truth is,  I often feel extremely self conscious and worrisome.  It has always been my experience that no matter what, as soon as I find a family,  as soon as I begin to let things closely in. They are gone. 

No matter how hard I try.  No matter how much I protect anyone,  the inevitable happens. 

All I can do is try not to be upset. Accept everything that happens.  Widely embrace the potential of the loss. Try not to let it bog me down.