As soon as I feel even a tiny bit of happiness. I am overcome with a foreboding feeling of panic.
This panic comes from a deep feeling of guilt. Guilt from the things that I have seen. Guilt from the people who I have been unable to help. Guilt from the time I squandered. Guilt from being filled with such potential, and letting it slip easily away.
When I think about this, I have come to a point of realization. I realized being so open to everything in the world, So focused and detail oriented, has not only let the light of all that I see into my life, it also comes partnered with darkness.
After realizing this, I realized that although I know that I need to continue on the path less traveled. I also just need to live to the best of my ability.
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