dreams of flying

I have often had vivid dreams. Dreams of flying. Dreams of surveying life from a high viewpoint. Flitting around, as I envision a hummingbird does. With wingless flight, complete and powerful movements. Never second guessing my movements.

Sometimes, I fly over past locations that bring back memories. Memories of pain. Memories of sadness. Memories of guilt. Memories of unending grief.


In these dreams. Times meld. Feelings coalesce. I fly through moments, recalibrate. Return to flight.

I feel at ease during those dreams. As if I finally am back home.

Then I wake up, and instantly feel the weight of reality. Tears flow. I remember the dreams. And my mind quickly begins placing a haze over those memories.

I roll over in my bed. Sit up. Blow my nose. Silently wipe away the tears.

It's true, my brain is my worst enemy.